Hello everyone and welcome to this wet edition of the Lair !!! Today's topic is people who don't know how to use an umbrella. This may sound surprising to you,but you may not walk around Manhattan in the rain that often. Let me tell you people are fucking stupid !!! We have many different types of umbrellas. Many different sizes too. It is our job to know which one is meant for each individual. For example, short,fat people should buy larger umbrellas so it covers their entire obese body. This is greatly appreciated by everyone cause it also allows us not to see their eye raping masses as it oozes down the street. Now skinny people should be buying normal size umbrellas not the ones that can fit 3 persons underneath. The main problem with this is that they don't know how to walk with it. They blast into everyobody short or tall,either in the face or the arm or wherever. Plus they put it in front of their faces and can't see where they are going. Not neccessary !!! This also creates a problem for us "vertically challenged" persons. You see,the taller population forgets us shorter people are under them and when their umbrella drips it drips on ME !!! I now not only have to face the rain itself, which is trying to soak me,but tall fuckers with no umbrella ediquette too. Cut me some slack down here !!! Next are the gay fuckers who need an umbrella for the slightest bit of rain possible. I mean barely a mist,but these pussies are afraid they are gonna get wet. Let's go toughen up a little can ya !?!? I mean even the women aren't using one. There are a lot of people on these busy streets and on days when it rains,a lot of umbrellas too. People need to learn you can lift and lower your umbrella at will. It doesn't take a fucking degree in science to do. Just try and be a little curtious even if you get a drop on you here and there its OK you aren't gonna melt. Trust me from being around people all the time you are not that sweet. In fact people suck. Not quite as much as the french,which can go FUCK themselves,but yes my friends people suck !!!!!!
I hope this has enlightened you as to which umbrella is good for you. Just remember, you only have to cover yourself. Not the world... Please grab your umbrella guide on the way out of the Lair. And please try to stay dry...
FRANKIE DRUKS
7 comments:
I agree!!! Umbrella's are always more trouble than they are worth. I mean you get wet anyway...one way or another...for example, the whole episode that goes on when you are trying to get in a door with an umbrella, be it a car door or even a door to the building you entering, you have to go through that whole folding up the umbrella episode...youre getting soaked, people are trying to squeeze in around you, etc. Its a freakin disaster!!! I think it would be a much happier world (and funnier) if we all walked around in shower caps...LOL
Interesting thought !!! Imagine what that would look like from up above !!!
yeah a bunch of dicks waring condems....
Thanks for this blog - you just encouraged me to go create the world's most amazing, convenient, people-happy, unbreakable umbrella. When I'm on infomercials and become a millionairre I'll send you a few. I've been looking for a new invention. The mind is brewing at this very moment. We'll discuss this later......
I keep waiting for someone to design a good umbrella. The person who does this will become rich beyond their wildest dreams. Umbrellas are really crap. Perhaps some kind of protective bubble head will be the way forward. I must go back to the lab to experiment.
Don't even be TRYING to steal my idea Cruddy Bang...LOL
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